“Do not look for a sanctuary in anyone except your self.”
| — | Siddhārtha Gautama |
*Things were going swell with the African, I was happy, he was happy, we were happy.
*Then things started to not feel so swell...
*I started to feel things were not right with us.
*I listened to my gut instincts and broke it off.
*We stayed friends because he wanted to be friends.
*He kept trying to win me back, I remained where I was.
*He then tried to guilt trip me, I remained where I was (I am my mother's daughter).
*He then stopped talking to me.
*I found out he hooked up with a girl.
*I was hurt because I liked being friends with him and it was then I kind of realised he was using me to fill his emptiness (also, actions speak louder than words).
*He then started talking to me again.
*I'm still hurt because I feel foolish for believing in someone.
*And I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.
So now my heart and mind are a mess but I guess these things happen. I do know that I do not feel romantically for the African, that I only feel friendship. We just weren't suited for each other in the end. But I just can't stop analysing what were were and how I could have been so easily misled by his character. I know he's not a bad person, he's actually a very generous person, just a person who's looking for something to fill the void. He's a blackhole.
“I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t
want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I
have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to
fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be
loved.”
| — | Shana Abe |
