Thursday, July 26

I guess this is what it is...

Cracks in my forehead,
white acid bone juts, liquid trickles
like honey, slithering
down, clinging to my eyelashes.
coating a shell,
eyes cannot see the world
all is a dichotomy
how my nerves and heart contract,
contracting with pain
so much stinging, stabbing pain
it creeps up my body,
drowns, floods, invades the veins,
like snake venom.
it marches to my eyes and 
I see everything, but nothing
pressure builds, building, 
cracks in my forehead.

Life is fantastic (but there are little parts of crap in it). It's really busy which isn't much different from the usual. Sometimes I wish it wasn't, I wish I could just climb a tree and just sit there and ponder without having to do a kazillion million things for a dozen people. But at the same time I'm so happy doing a kazillion million things for a dozen people because making them happy makes me happy. Concert band was fucking amazing this morning, we just mucked around and played pranks. Talking to Encyclopaedia wasn't as fun, I should have said nothing, even if it was nice and I meant it. The minute I said it Encyclopaedia gave me a verbal essay about how he loves his girlfriend but he hopes their breakup is convenient and that there'll be more girls at university anyway. Like seriously, what the fuck? Miss B is really unhappy but she won't say why and I'm kind of worried. History exam and work and music is seriously stressing me out. Usually it would break me but I'm resisting, I want to be stronger. But it's really hard, because I really hate letting people down and waiting and patience. I think it's because I'm an Aries. Although I'm a really late Aries and sometimes I really feel like Taurus. Don't you love that time of the month where you just feel fucking sexy? And then a couple of days later you feel like the ugly aunt of the ugly stepsisters. I hate hormones. I hate sleeping too much and not getting anything done. I hate that some teenagers get brain cancer and only 5 months to live. But I love that they were alive in the first place and we got the meet them and know them and love them. I love Duck. I love all of them. I love sunflowers. I love Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday mornings. I love watching Veggie Tales in C.E. I love my mother's cheese souffle. I love strawberries at $1.50 a punnet. I love that even if things are hard right now, I'm going to be okay. 

P.S. Therapy is still continuing. 
P.P.S Sorry about the quality and size of this post, I just needed a space to visually verbally vomit. 


  1. I love the last picture.

    and though this post is angsty, it's so good to get it all out. Sometimes we need to write our shit down to get different perspectives on it.

    all the best,
    xx scarzz

  2. Love the finishing words, that everything will eventually be okay. It's true, but hard to live by.


  3. What I would give to be able to write poetry the way you do....
    anyways, life sounds quite stressful but you seem to be such a lovely, optimistic person.

  4. everything you wrote was so true, the contradictions in life, busy lives, hormones, death, and a little thing called optimism. the imagery is incredible in your poem, by the way :)

  5. Did you compose the poetry?
    It's beautiful :)

  6. ahh I love the way you write! I reeelaaate, I relate! This is so good!!

  7. I am glad everything is chugging along. I guess even the bumps in the road are just reminders that everything keeps moving on. That's comforting I think.


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