I feel disconnected.

I was sitting in the pool today, inspired by the beauty surrounding me. The flowers floating upside down, the way the trees made a water reflection tattoo on my legs. And I remember reading this book, a children's book in year 5, or maybe 7. It was called the 'Water Tower', it gave me the chills. It was if sinister lurked behind the words. It wasn't a happy book, it did have a 'negative' ending. But for some reason the story still haunts me. The terrified screams of the fat boy Bubba, when his friend didn't resurface.

School is lovely, the girls I hang out with are lovely, everything and everyone is just so darn lovely. My blogging 'challenge' will come up very soon, I had intended to write up my first post last weekend when I was in the old house, but I'd forgotten all my notes at the new house.

There is this quote from the book 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' (which I desperately need to read, yes need) "I'm both happy and sad, and I'm still trying figure out how that could be". And I feel like the words describe me so perfectly at the moment. I'm so happy, nothing is wrong, yet I stay up late at night crying for all those beautiful people who are living in the worst of situations. The amazing kids who are living in orphanages and the adults with hearts that seem to be filled with this golden kindness, despite living in such harsh conditions. And at this moment I'm filled with this intense longing to help people, yet I feel so helpless.